Finding Myself in My Work: Trusting the Process and My Instincts

Sometimes when I’m in front of the canvas, I don’t have a solid plan. I just show up, pick up the brush or palette knife, and let things unfold. There’s something about letting go of the need to know exactly where I’m headed that frees me up. It’s about trusting my gut, even if the vision isn’t totally clear from the start.

There’s always a lot happening inside me when I paint—whether I’m aware of it or not. It’s like the work reflects what’s going on inside me, almost without me realizing it. When I’m dealing with doubts or frustrations, it finds its way into the strokes. Same thing if I’m feeling calm or content. It’s not a conscious choice, but the emotion ends up on the canvas.

Leaning Into Instincts Over Perfection

I think a big part of this journey is just trusting that gut feeling. There’s always this pressure to get things right, to meet certain expectations—whether they’re my own or from others. But the more I paint, the more I realize it’s not about perfection. It’s about the process, the doing. When I stop overthinking and just follow where the brush or knife takes me, that’s when the real magic happens. I end up in a place I couldn’t have planned, but it feels more true, more honest.

I’ve learned to embrace that uncertainty, even though it’s uncomfortable. It feels like stepping into the unknown every time I start something new, but that’s where the growth happens.

Painting Through Doubt

There are days when I feel stuck. You know, those times when self-doubt creeps in, and I start questioning whether I’m doing it right—or even if I should be doing it at all. But then I remind myself that doubt is just part of it. It's like this unwanted companion in the creative process. When I push through those moments of hesitation, something shifts. The work becomes less about the end product and more about expressing what’s inside me.

The thing is, doubt and criticism will always be there. But if I let that stop me, I’d never get anything done. I’ve got to keep showing up, keep trusting that I’ll find my way as long as I’m honest with myself.

Letting the Work Speak

At the end of the day, my paintings reflect my journey, my inner world. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s clear, but it’s always real. I think that’s why art connects us. It’s this honest expression of who we are in the moment. And whether or not someone else “gets” it, I know it’s true to me. That’s what matters most.